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About Wyoming

Flag of Wyoming

There are some things you just should know about Wyoming…

Wyoming is the 44th state to be admitted to the union.
- It was admitted July 10, 1890.
- The name is derived from a Delaware Indian word meaning "land of vast plains," obviously applied by someone who has driven from Riverton to Casper or Gillette to Douglas.
The weather is run by a committee: Murphy, Loki and Coyote.
- This is the real reason we all have four wheel drive vehicles.
- It gets windy in Wyoming. "High winds likely, next 400 miles."
- Yes, we do get balmy days in January.
- Yes, you can get snowed upon in July.
The population of the entire state…
- Is 500,000. At least those are the ones the Census 'crats caught.
- Is less than the population of a California state senate district (850,000).
- And has no California senators, state or federal, either.
- Is smaller than the entire Portugese government bureaucracy (708,000).
- And has no Eurocrats, either.
- Is the least dense population of the lower 48 states.
Wyoming government…
- We have no state income taxes, personal or corporate.
- We have no state inventory taxes.
- We have short legislative sessions.
- The legislators tend to be ranchers and other folks who earn their own livings.
- We keep the capital in Cheyenne…
  - So people won't want to go there.
  - So if it ever gets uppity we can cut it out with a jig saw and shove it south into that morass called Denver.
  - So all the hot air from the legislature will blow out of state and disperse quickly.
Wyoming's largest export is Wyoming. Or, rather, the minerals extracted from it.
We have more deer than people, more antelope than people.
Traffic jams are rare in Wyoming. But when they occur they are likely to be caused by cattle drives, sheep drives or Californians.
Wyoming is a friendly place.
- You can leave your door unlocked.
- You can leave the keys in the ignition.
- If you wave to folks on the roads, they'll likely wave back. They haven't got much else to do.
- You can ask folks for help. Chances are you'll get it. So be careful what you ask for.
- Folks respect your property. The people who otherwise wouldn't figure you might have a gun.
- We don't have much truck with bullshit. We see the real stuff up close.
Travel times are measured in how many cans of beer two people can consume getting from here to there. The Wyoming Standard Can of Beer is 20 minutes. Roughly. Depending on the quality of the beer and the leadfootedness of the driver. "Oh, it's about a sixpack to Riverton" means it's anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour and a half.
Time is subjective out here. Folks show up when they do. Except for the Volunteer Fire Departments. We call it "John Vinich time."
The official state…
- Flower is the sagebrush.
- Tree is the fence post.
- Mammal is the jackalope.
- Bird is the plastic grocery bag.
- Dinosaur is the Republican Party.
- Fish is the cutthroat trout — it was a tough competition.
In Wyoming, Bill Clinton is so unpopular he couldn't get a job as a cattle guard.
In Wyoming, a romantic first date might be a trip to the horse auction. (True story, and the happy couple have been married for more than five years!)
In Wyoming, when you get a wrong number call, it could be someone you know… calling for someone else you know. (Another true story.)
Where else would you get an email from a friend asking you for help in recovering their escaped buffalo? (Also a true story.)
Never trust a town whose population is greater than its altitude. So, when was the last crime wave in Spotted Horse, Wyoming?
Wyoming… Where the men are men, the sheep are nervous, and the women carry .454 Casulls. (Another true story.)
Don't ask about the buffalo poop.

And we like it like that.

Definition of a Cowboy: "Someone who can replace a uterine prolapse in a range cow in a three section pasture with nothing but a horse and a rope…"
— Baxter Black

Wyoming Business Hours:

Open most Days about 9 or 10
Occasionally as Early as 7, But Somedays
as Late as 12 or 1
WE CLOSE about 5:30 or 6
Occasionally about 4 or 5, But
Sometimes as Late as 11 or 12
Someday's or Afternoons, We Ain't
Here at All, and Lately
I've been here Just about all the Time,
Except when I'm Someplace else,
But I should be Here Then, Too

Lyle F. Eshe, Eshe's Machine, "Gunsmith - Leather Repairs - Saddle Maker"
Torrington, Wyoming

(The only difference between Mr. Eshe's hours and those of half the businesses in Wyoming is that Mr. Eshe is more honest about it. And, for those of you in the advertising business, that was not a paid advertisement.
— Webmaster)

And some folks in the Department of Tourism went to government schools (or, "The Scarlet Grammarian Strikes Again!")…

Like No Place Else, dammit, On Earth

Wyoming Wind Sock

The Official Wyoming Windsock

Rumor has it that the Wyoming Wind Sock is on Cheyenne Ridge, which is there so that the good folks in Cheyenne don't have to look at Fort Collins or the rest of Baja Wyoming.

Wyoming Links

Western Folklife Center, "Cowboy poets on the Internet." Cowboy poetry is a true North American art, like jazz. Except it is done by rednecks, which may be why it flies under pop culture's radar.